“Because of advances in medicine, we’re able to have families, that are biologically ours, and many people think that because we’re gay, we’re infertile. We’re actually not infertile… Our process of having children is a little bit different than others, but our children are real human beings, they are sacred and they should not be marginalized.” Desmond Child
LGBT parenting has been a topic that is very close to our hearts as we are proud supporters of the LGBT community and we will continuously strive to advocate Human Rights but also share as much information as possible regarding common misconceptions about the LGBT community and LGBT parents!
Myth One:
Children need a mother and father to have a stable upbringing
- Research has shown that same-sex parented children did as well emotionally, socially and educationally as the children of heterosexual couples
- Studies that claim unfavorable outcomes for children of single parents compare those children to children of married heterosexual parents. These studies say nothing about the gender of the absent parent being the cause of the unfavorable outcomes
- The gender of parents DOES NOT MATTER
- Around the world, there are so many children waiting to be adopted – far too many than there are hetrosexual couples coming foward to adopt
- There are large amount of adoptive families who are unmarried couples or single people, who are bringing up well-balanced, happy children
Myth Two:
Same-sex parents cannot provide stable homes
No study has EVER found that families created by gay and lesbian people are unstable. Studies show that LGBT communities can have long lasting relationships, and that these relationships are equal to heterosexual couples. Every relationship, regardless of who you are go through the normal ups and downs, but the one remaining factor is love and commitment
- Unfounded claims of “instability” revolve around harmful and erroneous assumptions that the LGBT community suffer emotional or psychiatric disorders. There is absolutely no basis to this generalization
- Importantly, research has shown that parenting quality, parental well-being, the quality of and satisfaction with relationships (within the family), rather than family structures is what makes a more meaningful difference to children’s wellbeing and positive development
Myth Three:
Being raised by gay parents will cause children to be gay
- People don’t choose to be gay
- Likewise, no one else can dictate which sex you are attracted to – especially not our parents
- Yes, of course, we will learn about sexuality and relationships from observing our parents and other couples in society. But our own sexuality isn’t something we have any control over
- Children’s sexual orientation is not determined by the sexuality of their parents. In fact, most gay people were raised by straight parents, and the large majority of children of gay parents grow up straight
Myth Four:
Children of gay parents will get picked on
- Children of gay or straight parents WILL always get picked on for something whilst growing up. This is regardless of their parents’ sexual orientation
- If a child is being bullied because of her race or for living in a single-parent, or same-sex household, it is important to educate that bully and the bully’s parents.
- It is up to us all to teach our children from an early age about human rights and equality. We are all responsible to ensure there is a more positive learning and social environment for children both in their schools but also at home
The truth about LGBT Parents:
- LGBT parents have an understanding of what it is like to undergo a deep exploration of one’s identity; what it feels like on the inside and what it means out in the world, which offers a huge amount of insight to their own children
- LGBT parents are more likely to have experience with discrimination, being a member of a marginalized group
- LGBT people may have experience with family conflict, loss, and/or difficult family relationships, which could help them help children to navigate similar challenges
- LGBT people have often learned resilience and resourcefulness in creating support networks and family-like communities, whether or not their family relationships have been affected by their coming out. These skills are invaluable to children who are in need of developing family connections and supports outside of their biological family units
- LGBT people may display significant open-mindedness and a deep appreciation for the importance of unconditional love and acceptance, which could be invaluable in supporting their own child’s individuality
To conclude, all a child really needs in this world is unconditional, unwavering love. It really doesn’t matter whether you are a hetrosexual couple, a single parent, same-sex parents.
Two invested parents are the best case scenario, but even one involved parent is better than a detached couple – no matter their sexual orientation.
If you are thinking about starting a family through surrogacy or have any questions regarding gestational IVF, contact us here.
Love DESA x
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